Climbing, aspergers, and trying to achieve ones dreams

Mountains have saved my life. I don't know where I would be without mountaineering. From the first moment I got within reach of a mountains summit (Mt Thielsen, sept. 1998), I was so utterly hooked. That first pitch of real, life-or-death solo climbing etched a cause and a way for me. Being forced to focus (not an easy thing for me) - handhold...here, foot goes...there, everything solid, yes? Solid, move up, one foot, one hand at a time, putting a puzzle together, but YOU are not there, you just are, no problems, no difficulties, just you, alone, on the mountain. And then you find that have reached the precipitous summit, two thousand foot drop there, thousand footer over here. Plus that eighty feet you just climbed up.
Needless to say, I made it off that mountain with a high that lasted for a week, at least. I had gotten a taste of something grand, something bigger than myself, and I wanted to taste it again. Being that it was late September, I didn't get another opportunity to make any other ascents that year. But all winter, I obsessed and started buying climbing equipment and getting guide-books and books on technique, my dreams at night were often scenes in the mountains (and they still are).
The next year I ended up climbing some smaller, tune-up mountains, namely Black Crater (7,251')the Belknap Craters (6,872' and 6,305'), Wolf Rock (the largest monolith in Oregon, see photo above).
Later in summer I decided to go for my first solo climb, of South Sister, third highest mountain in Oregon(10,358'). The picture to the left shows South Sister from Broken Top. I made the climb from Devils Lake, after spending a chilly night without a sleeping bag in my car. There were a fair amount of people on the trail, I passed a few but generally just maintained a moderate pace, breaking out of treeline and onto the beautiful mesa that leads to the base of the mountain itself. It was a beautiful, but tough ascent for me, taking five and a half hours to hike the five and a half miles and nearly five thousand feet of elevation gain, but once more, a deep calling was etched into my soul. On that day, an exceptionally clear one, you could see to Mt. Rainier, 200 miles away.
It ended up being a good year for me, climbing Mt Mclaughlin, Mt Lassen, Diamond Peak and Mt. Bailey. Now I was definitely hooked, there was no turning back.
In that time, coming on ten years now, I have climbed the majority of the Cascade peaks - Lassen, Shasta, Mclaughlin (3 times), Venus-Jupiter-Lucifer-Devils-Lee peaks all in one push (Sky Lakes Wilderness), Bailey(twice), Thielsen(four times), Tipsoo Peak, Sawtooth Peak, Cowhorn Mtn, Union Peak, Diamond Peak (8 times), The Twins (twice), Wolf Rock (a bunch), South Sister (twice), Broken Top (twice), The Husband, North Sister, Three-Fingered Jack, Mt Hood, Mt St. Helens, Mt Adams, Mt Shuksan (in the north cascades, the picture on the right), plus Sacajawea Peak, Peak 9774 and The Matterhorn in the Wallowas of north east Oregon.
It has been an amazing ride, but now, I want even more. I quit my job In Eugene last year for the express purpose of climbing more, since I had slowed down considerably in the previous two years. I responded by climbing ten mountains last summer, including five in a single push and setting my personal best on Thielsen (2:45 to the summit, 5:05 total car to car). So far this year it hasn't really happened for me yet, my truck needs work and we have been generally broke for most of the year, but I helped teach a beginning rock course through the local community college last weekend and the next day climbed a little mountain (Mt. June) with my girlfriend and our new family. Right now, I feel like I have to get my foundation back under me, get my truck up and running, but more than anything, figure this whole Aspergers thing out.
In a month I am going to get tested to see if I am truly an Aspie. For the uninitiated, Aspergers is a type of Spectrum Autism, High-functioning autism primarily characterized by severe social impairment, lack of eye contact, and the fixation on one or two particular subjects to the exclusion of all else. For me it is Mountains and Mountaineering, and Roman History. Lately, rocks and gems and fossils and the idea of rockhounding have been appealing to me. In any case, it has only recently come to my attention about what Aspergers is and when I began to read about it, it was like a light went off. Pop! It was like reading about myself, so much of it, the obsessive quirks, the inability to take social cues or maintain eye contact, the obsessiveness, not to mention the horrible social fear. I hate being in groups of people, it's just gotten worse as I have gotten older, I mean, when I'm in my place - in the mountains, at the crags, at my house or where I work, I am fine, I can interact in my odd own way, but if I have to go to a party or a bar or a concert, I'm terrified. Get me to walk out on snowbridges over eighty foot deep crevasses, I'm fine.
So yeah, a few weeks and I will know for certain, one way or another, and I can move forward. But in the mean time, I'm ready to go climbing.
Hopefully I will have my truck up and running in the next month and I can get ready to start. I am taking July 17th-27th off, my first vacation in years, and my goal right now is to climb Rainier, Baker and Shuksan in nine days. Hopefully I can also climb Washington and Middle Sister here in Oregon and then I will have only Jefferson and Glacier Peak left off my resume. I could be happy with a year like that. Of course, I could be happier if I also interspersed that schedule with easier climbs with my daughter and my family and more rock climbing at our excellent crags, the Callahans. Now that would be a good year.